Tuesday, December 18, 2007

18 December 2007

Wishing All Visitors
A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Let us hope that Frank pulls through the festive holidays. We must remember that the emotional and psychological pains; lost dignity and pride, Do Not take a break or holiday.

Saturday, December 15, 2007


6 December 2007
At a Family Gathering on 25 November

A Wedding Anniversary Celebration

It was extremely difficult for Frank to be in such close proximity to his children and grandchildren, at that function. As he has made up his mind about NOT wanting to see his children, it was also difficult to feel relaxed with his grandchildren. He was, of course, very happy to see the grandchildren.
In fact, before the end of the function, Frank could not bear the pain any longer, and left without saying goodbye to many friends and relatives. He hoped those individuals would understand and forgive him.
He was happy that the daughter-in-law went up to him, asked about his health and informed him of her pregnancy. He was shocked to hear that his son was supposed to have sent him a text message. He did not received that message. However, it is important to note that he lost his old mobile phone for about 3 weeks before he bought a new one. Still, there should be better means of communicating that news to Frank.
Frank is sorry that he is unable to rekindle relationship with his family and therefore felt that the daughter-in-law will have to miss out on any contact with him. He still felt that more should have been done before things got to the 'point of no return' with regards to his relationship with his family.
It was a difficult and painful decision but considering the damages done to his physical, emotional and mental health, his dignity and pride; he has chosen NOT to resume any contact with his family, particularly his children. Any indirect contact with his children is also ruled out.
He deeply regrets that, but considering the fact that his children, and their spouses DID NOTHING to give him any considerations or regard before, during and after the property settlement. ...They knew about his crammed living-quarters of over 8 years. They must also have known that it was very hurtful to see/hear his grandchildren in the front of the house, but was not visited by them.
(Update made in consultation with; and approved by Frank)
NB: Everything posted on this site has the approval of Frank before publication. However, comments made on the 'Your Say' page are views of site visitors. Those comments are then relayed to Frank.

1 December 2007
Special thanks to visitors who continue to check on this site. An update will be posted soon.

2 November 2007
For those who are really concerned about Frank, here is the latest update.
Since he got possession of the house, he has been working on various renovations and repair jobs. He has to do some of the work himself or pay tradesmen to help him. Apparently, there are more to be done.
A few days ago I contacted Frank. He told me that the previous evening he had fallen asleep at around 7pm; and slept till 8.30am the next morning. Very unusual for him, as he has always been an early riser and he suffers from insomnia.
He also told me that he is "losing interest in everything".
I don't think we need to have a medical or psychology degree to see what is happening.
Ask yourself what you would do in his circumstance.
For those who accused me of doing him harm by publishing his story, please contact him and talk to him. Find out for yourself!
We will cover the issue of getting help for people like Frank in other related sites.

20 October 2007
Certain items on this page have been removed, as we believe that they detract from the purpose of this and other related sites.
Please contact the webmaster via email if you have further questions or complaints about this site.
Email Me
We wish to resolve other issues, privately.

23 September 2007

Yesterday, Frank invited a small group of friends and relatives to his newly renovated house. It has taken him quite a few months to do the necessary repairs and renovations.
The house is a modest one. But compared to his living quarters the past 8 to 9 years, it is a luxury!

It is good to see him relaxed and proud of his new home. Everyone there wanted to show him that there are others, who care about him.

There were still small whispered discussions amongst guests regarding the horrible treatments his children had dished out to him.

Would you believe this - His abusers have come up with reasons for their actions. Their so-called reasons as to why they treated their father that way will be published shortly.

Those reasons they have given, so far, can only be described as insults to our intelligence. You will be able to judge that for yourself when it is published here and other related sites.

There can never be justifiable reason(s) for Elder Abuse!

We can say this to Frank's abusers -- " You can fool some of the people some of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time".

Wait for the next update!

2 September 2007

Father’s Day - A day to honour fathers.

How do you think Frank feels on such a day? Alone? Bitter? Frustrated? Bewildered? Disappointed? Ashamed?

I believe he feels All of that and more.

This is what he requested that I include in this update:

His children not only robbed him of a family; they have robbed their own children of a grandparent.

Frank suffers from 2 chronic illnesses but is determined to work hard at keeping fit. Can he ever forget that he once had a family? I think the answer is obvious.

Part of his survivor-technique now, appears to be - to try to forget he ever had a family. However, on occasions such as Father’s Day, Christmas Day etc… it is extremely difficult for him.

We can only wish him well and hope that he will pull through without damage to his mental and physical health.

9 August. 2007
The group of us (members here and overseas) who have intimate knowledge, are still keeping an eye on this case. We were stunned and felt powerless. Laws, hopefully, will be changed in the near future to help people like Frank. As a group, we are now doing a number of things to publicise the growing problem of elder abuse; and to work with various other groups in lobbying law-makers. The law must be changed. There should be a law on Duty To Care.
Frank, at 77 years of age, is trying very hard to get on with what is left of his life. It is not easy for him to forget that he once had a family. His family - until the start of this tragedy, that has been the main focus of his life. He is often heard mumbling to himself - "What family? I don't have a family. I thought I had a family."
Regarding his abusers - They will never know how many of their friends, relatives, acquaintances or colleagues have knowledge of what they did to their father. This "stain" in their lives can NEVER be forgotten or "washed off".

18 July, 2007
Yes, apparently the documents were signed for transferring shares to both parents. Wow! what a great effort. It has cost Frank a few hundred dollars for this latest attempt to get what is rightfully his. Hopefully, there won't be anymore such painful and expensive exercises to get what is rightfully his.
What his children had done in the past few years should NOT be forgotten. It is INEXCUSABLE!
How could they do what they did?
Many of us, who have intimate knowledge of the case, kept posing this question around.
Frank did not have an easy life. Firstly, his wife was diagnosed with a serious mental illness over 40 years ago. He stayed to care for his wife and family. Thought he has given his children everything he could.
Put yourself in his position. At 77 he is all alone; stripped of his pride and dignity. Had to fight (his own children) to retain 50% of the assets he built up. He is frail and bewildered.
It was painful to watch Frank's expression as he showed me the few cigars (still in the original box) that he had bought when his son was born. He found them in storage under the house, as he rummaged around to sort things out. "What family? I've got no family! I thought I had a family...." Then silence ..............Can you feel his disappointments, pains and bewilderment.

17 July, 2007
Newsflash: Information just received today. There is a response from the other party. Details unclear to the author at the moment. Frank is not too well; and it is difficult to get more details from him. Will post update as soon as we receive more details.
16 July, 2007
A group of people from around the world are watching this case with interest. There is a list of names gathered to express the united view of NO tolerance for this sort of behaviour/abuses particularly in regard to this case. Any denial to access of an older person's assets is considered as Financial Abuse. We intend to publish this list shortly.
4 July 2007
Can You Believe This!
About 8 weeks ago, it was discovered that a number of share-portfolios (in jointnames of Frank and his ex-wife) were in Dividend Reinvestment Plans. This was overlooked by everyone during the property settlement.
Frank supplied the details to his solicitor, and requested that the solicitor send a letter to the other party. The letter, together with the necessary forms, was sent. The letter mentioned that in the spirit of the property settlement, the remaining shares should be split equally between Frank and his ex-wife.
All his children has to do was to either get their mother to sign those forms or, to sign on her behalf (as the son has power of attorney for his mother).
A reminder letter was also sent three weeks after the first.
That was more than 7 weeks ago! True to form, they have NOT sent the forms back.
The effect on Frank? You can imagine.
Any reasonable person would be stunned by their inaction.
25 May 2007
It has been extremely difficult for Frank to refurbish and repair the house as he has to move things around in order to do that- (he lives there)
His health has deteriorated. However, as he was brought up to just "get on with it"; he has done just that. Often, the suppressed anger and disappointment with his so-called "family" would surface. He would then try to suppress those feelings again. On my previous visits to see him, I have witnessed "momentary confusion" . He complained of sleeplessness.
I don't think any of us could imagine accurately how he feels. The pains that he endures because of his uncaring, ungrateful children, will be with him to the end.
He is lost without words or resolution.
He requested that I convey his appreciation to visitors to this site who had left good wishes for him. He realizes that nothing more can be done for him. His wish is that others can learn from his terrible experience of elder abuse from family members.
The author has received several private emails enquiring as to whether Frank's children are aware of this website. With the help of some friends, his children were informed. However, to date, there has been no contact or comment from them.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Introduction to a Unbelievable Elder Abuse Case

Welcome to the Frank Punito Website

( Returned visitors Please check 'Update' page for latest developments)
(If you are in a hurry. Just watch the few minutes of video on "Video Page")

This is a true and tragic story. As Frank's friend and confidant, I had witnessed some of the incidences mentioned in this story. I have also sighted documents verifying the matters mentioned here. I have Frank's expressed permission to tell his story.
This is NOT just a story about property settlement.
How can two adult children ( 40 and 45 years of age) leave their aging father (age 77 now) in unacceptable living quarters for more than 8 years. (see 'Video Page"). INEXCUSABLE !
The neglect, mental anguishes, the emotional and psychological upheavals that this man has endured over more than 8 years are taking a toll on his health. He already has a few serious medical problems.
The daughter works in the area of recommending/providing mental health services.
When does one starts to be concerned about one's parent's mental health? Only when he/she is diagnosed as mentally ill?
Background Information:

Frank's marriage had been extremely difficult due to the fact that his wife was diagnosed with a serious mental illness 5 years into his marriage (over 40 years ago). He had to look after his wife and his young children in the early years. To do that he had to work his trade from his home garage.

Often, he had to drive his wife to the doctor or to hospital. He had also to drive his school age children to extra-curricular activities e.g. piano and guitar lessons. He paid for their university education and overseas trips.

He gave them a piece of land for them to build their present houses. Assistances were generously given to assist them in building their homes.
Inspite of the difficulties of the marriage, Frank stayed in the marriage. His therapy appeared to be "burying himself in his work".

He was proud of his achievements. And, he was extremely proud of his children.
All assets were either in joint-names with his wife or in the name of the family trust.

Chronology of Events

20 August 1998 His wife was in hospital. It was his 40th wedding anniversary. He had made a pendant for his wife. When he mentioned that to his daughter, he was told that his wife no longer wanted to live with him. Any communications from then on was through is children.
Unfortunately for Frank, just one day before, he had borrowed from the bank to buy a new investment property. He was stressed out by the new problem. He was confident that the problem would be solved by selling some other investment property. But that takes time.
As a temporary measure, he paid $12000 for the matrimonial home to be divided into two living areas, with two separate entrances. He took 3 small rooms to be his temporary living quarters. Little did he know that his "temporary" living quarters was to be his home for the next nine years!
Friends and relatives thought that Frank was the one who did not want to relocate his wife; or, to work towards property settlement in the 8 to 9 years. This is furthest from the truth. Read on.

No Breaks for Elder Abuse Victims

No Breaks for Elder Abuse Victims

As an elder rights advocate, I've been posting on cases of elder abuse in my blogs. It is a thankless task and I've already been criticized for exposing the Frank Punito Case.
The elder abusers in this case and their friends, thought that I can be intimidated into shutting up.

They are Wrong!

The term 'elder abuse' was not even in my vocabulary, till I start to research for help to Frank. My researches and contacts with elder abuse prevention organizations tell me that THIS IS AN ELDER ABUSE CASE. One of neglect/phsycological/emotional abuse and unconscionable acts! I will continue to speak out for the 'voiceless'.

As we take a break for the festive season of Christmas, let us remember that elder abuse victims cannot get a break from their pains; be it emotional or physical. The trauma of being abuse in one's twilight years is just NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Elder abuse is a human rights violation!
To all the visitors to this blog:
Thank you for stopping by.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
To those who have written emails of encouragement and support for Frank and the blog owner. Thank You

The Nightmares Begin

All Frank's efforts to find alternative accommodation for his estranged wife were rejected by his children. Yet, they did not do anything to find their mother alternative accommodation. Frank still has to manage all the investment property - dealing with tenants, accountants etc. He still takes on the odd jobs to work in his garage workshop. He also has to go for frequent checkups and keep medical specialist appointments for his medical problems.
Within 6 months after the new living arrangement was made, Frank had sold investment property and had put the proceeds in term deposit accounts. There were hundreds of thousands of dollars sitting in low interest bearing bank accounts. Cash at hand for when his children tells him that alternative accommodation was found for their mother. The son has the power of attorney for his mother.
In 2003 valuations of all the property was done by a professional valuer. Frank had made several approaches to his son M, to discuss property settlement. The son disputed the valuations obtained from the valuer. He indicated to his father that he would consult his colleague regarding the valuation. Nothing eventuated!
In October 2003 Frank and his son went to see his solicitor regarding property settlement. In that discussion, the son agreed that they should sort out property settlement by mutual agreement and then get legal assistance to finalise matters. Frank made several approaches to his son urging for a discussion on settlement.
The last time Frank tried to talk to his son regarding property settlement, he was told that he (Frank) should just concentrate on looking after his grandchildren. He was told by his son, that he always wanted his own ways and that he was "crushing his son's x..!#!##!!'.
Frank was astounded and could not understand why that had come about. It's a few years since the separation. He realised then that his children are not interested in helping him settle the matter.
15 July 2004 Frank was devastated that all his attempts to settle matters through his children resulted in absolutely nothing. He asked his solicitor to send a letter, addressed to his estranged wife, regarding property settlement. That letter was ignored.. Frank did not get any reply.
On 25 January 2005 Frank received a email from his son requesting a meeting to discuss property settlement on behalf of his mother.
16 February 2005 The day of the discussion. Both his son and daughter were at his living quarters for the discussion. After some discussions, Frank asked for a copy of their Agenda for the meeting. He was so shocked and hurt by what was listed in the agenda, that he stopped the discussion.
They wanted him to leave the matrimonial home. Frank was still doing some odd jobs from his garage workshop. The matrimonial home is old and was not really appropriate for the estranged wife. Even the estranged wife's relatives thought so. Frank was deeply hurt. He felt that he was kicked out the second time. He was told to leave "in 3mths max."
Also mentioned in the agenda was "ensure X (his friend ) do not visit the property". Reason given -" Mum is upset to see X visiting Frank!"
Don't forget that no one visits Frank in his crammed quarters. X only visited Frank to assist him with matters relating to tenants etc., and to fix his computer. Even his brothers could not bear to visit him there.
Still, his children have NO right to dictate to the father. After all it is his "home" too.