The Long Fight

It has been a long fight for Frank to gain access to a decent home. The property settlement is over. Details cannot be revealed here but if allowed, it would take up another few pages. The ex-wife has moved out of the front and bigger part of the matrimonial home. It would take several more weeks or even months for Frank to renovate the place before he can call it a proper home.

Frank would like to answer some of the criticism of him in this saga:
Why didn't he move to another house?

As mentioned earlier, for almost 40 years, Frank has been working from his home garage. Inspite of his age (77 years old) he keeps himself fit. He loves his trade. Although, these days, he does only the occasional jobs to keep himself distracted from the emotional pains. Therefore, the matrimonial home is more appropriate for him than for his ex-wife. Even his ex-wife's relatives had told Frank so. The other reason is that Frank had put hundreds of thousands of dollars in term deposits just so that his children could have the money "on call" to buy their mother an alternative accommodation. Therefore, in order to find another house for him before the property settlement would mean selling another investment property. That was not a good move as Frank wanted his investment portfolio to remain as it was so that after the settlement, both his ex-wife and he would have a good and steady income stream to support them for the rest of their lives.

Why has he stopped seeing or communicating with his children?

It is not difficult to understand his decision. He cannot understand why his children did what they did the past 8 to 9 years. Since Frank moved into the crammed quarters behind the matrimonial home, his children had only visited him less than 5 times. Communications between father and children were reduced to occasional emails. He never get invited to his children's homes. And, there were no phone calls to enquire about his health even when they knew he had to go for medical procedures. X, Frank's friend, assisted him in all those but they never once phoned her. (Early in the saga, the daughter had said that as loyalty to her mother, they did not care to get to know X). The long legal process of the property settlement left Frank cold and stunned.

He was also greatly hurt by the regular visits by his daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren to the front of the house (where his ex-wife lived ) but he was NOT visited. Sure, Frank's "living quarters" are not appropriate for a visit by his grandchildren. Is it difficult to ask the father to come out to see the grandchildren when he is just at the back of the house? BUT, ignoring him as they did is inexcusable. One would be curious to know how they explained to their kids as to why they couldn't see their grandfather on those occasions. Imagine Frank's hurt, every time he hears his grandkids in the front of the house, but he could not see them.
What happened to Frank over the last 8> years has left him stunned, disappointed and ashamed. He thought he has a family. What would you have done in these circumstances.
Why has he stopped seeing his grandchildren?

Frank cannot bring himself to go to his children's homes and he still has NOT got a decent place where he could have his grandchildren over. And, the constant questioning by his 6/7 year old grandchild about his relationship with his ex-wife, and other inappropriate matters left him very, very uneasy. A child of that age should not be doing that. Frank loves the grandchildren. It is too upsetting for him. (You can imagine his pains in this decision).
Why didn't he make a speech at the son's wedding?

He was NOT told about the wedding by the son. He found out through a 3rd party. He was still shocked and upset about the meeting with his children just about 6 weeks before the wedding -- Where he was told to move out within 3 months. He felt he was "kicked out" the second time.